We Won!!!

Last night we won an almost historic victory by electing conservative Democrats.

Worry not, though, Liberals! We still have insanely liberal leaders who will be running the House. We can now start:

1) Mandating Abortions for the poor (and the rich, because we hate them)
2) Raising taxes and destroying the economy
3) Socialize medicine so we can have a fabulous medical system like the UK
4) Did I mention mandating abortions?
5) Surrender in Iraq, Afghanistan, and anywhere else scary people might be

We're going to have a great two years.